Forgiveness

Blogger Alan Cornett wrote a post about forgiveness with regard to a specific incident that has been in the news lately, and it sparked a lively debate among commenters on the question of whether or not it's possible to forgive someone who has not asked for forgiveness. My response (to commenter "Anonymous") got a bit long for a simple comment, so it is posted here.
The nub of this debate seems to come down to a difference over the nature of forgiveness. Is it a two-way transaction that takes place between two willing parties (the offender and the offended), or is it a unilateral act on the part of the one offended? Anonymous believes it is the former; I humbly argue that Scripture and plain reason indicate it is the latter.

Dictionaries give several definitions for "forgive" and "forgiveness," however, they all seem to point to things that one person, alone, can do unilaterally: to grant pardon for a debt or offense; to cease to feel resentment against another, etc. Obviously, merely citing a dictionary does not conclusively prove the matter; we have to be sure that Scripture speaks of forgiveness in the same way that our dictionary authors understand it. However, this is useful in two respects: first, it indicates a generally agreed-upon understanding of the meaning of forgiveness as a unilateral act, and second, it helps provide illumination of the fact that those who have translated the Bible into English believe that "forgive" and "forgiveness" are appropriate translations of the relevant Greek and Hebrew words of Scripture.

Moving on to Scripture itself, it's clear that the Bible consistently treats forgiveness as something that the one offended does or grants, regardless of whether the offender asks for it or even acknowledges it. Moses and the prophets beg the Lord to forgive the sins of Israel, a "stiff-necked people," often when Israel had not asked for the Lord's forgiveness, had not repented their sins, and sometimes even while they were still engaged in rebellion and idolatry!
We find repeated instructions in the New Testament that believers are to be characterized by forgiveness. Paul tells the Corinthians to forgive the one they had cast out of their fellowship because of his sin. He tells the Colossians, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another." Jesus teaches that we should be willing to forgive another as many times as he sins against us--his "seventy times seven" in Matthew 18 is a way of saying there is no limit to the number of times we should forgive. What's interesting is that in each of these cases, the command to forgive is absolute, not contingent. It isn't qualified with "If your brother asks your forgiveness..." The only instance I can find where there is such a conditonal is in Luke 17:4, where Jesus says, "If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him." In this case, however, Jesus' point is not that you have to wait until you're asked to forgive, but that when you are asked there is no point at which you don't have to forgive anymore.

Perhaps the strongest argument for forgiveness as a unilateral act are the actions of Jesus himself. Consider the case in Luke where the paralyzed man is brought by his friends to see Jesus. This man was not coming to Christ to ask him for forgiveness from sins. If anything, he asked Jesus for something altogether different--healing from his paralysis. But what does Jesus do? He announces to him, "Friend, your sins are forgiven." Jesus granted him forgiveness when he had not asked for it or expected it, to demonstrate that He had authority over sin because of who he was. He was turning their world upside-down by bringing to them what they used to have to go and seek at the Temple.

As Alan already pointed out, witholding forgiveness when it hasn't been sought by the one who needs it is not an act of piety or even of necessity. It's an act of disobedience and a confusion of our role with God's. Ours is to forgive the sinner, in light of how greatly we have been forgiven in Christ. God's is to forgive that sin or not; to punish that sin, either in Christ's death on the Cross or in that sinner's person, in hell.